Saturday, December 31, 2011

It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times ...

Cliche, yet so very true.

The year started out great, with the birth of our sweet, adorable, goofy baby girl. I relished my time away from the office on maternity leave. What could be better than a steady schedule of baby snuggles, bad tv, shopping, and never having to set the alarm? I spent a lot of time with family and friends I usually don't get to see too often. My husband found a job quickly once he started looking -- a job that is vastly different (for the better) in terms of quality of life. We took a fabulous vacation to Maui and saw two of our good friends get married. I returned to work a found a new, comfortable groove in my assignment -- something I hadn't felt in the office for quite some time. Things were really, really good and I was really, really happy. Sure there were challenges and annoyances along the way, but the good far outweighed the bad. There were days I'd be in my office during lunch, catch a glimpse of a family photo or read a funny message from a friend, and think to myself "I am so blessed."

Then everything with my dad happened and my world fell apart. While I still can find joy, humor, and goodness in various things, there is still a deep sadness that permeates each day. No matter how enjoyable a particular day might be, at the end of it, in those moments right before you drift off to sleep, all my thoughts come back to the following: dad is gone, mom is losing her mind, and my relationship with my brother is (probably) permanently damaged.

When I look back on 2011, I don't know how to label it. Obviously the latter part of the year sucked big time, but the year also brought me some of the most magical moments I've ever experienced. So whatever 2011 was, I'm just relieved that it is over. And whatever 2012 will be, I just hope it isn't as much of a roller coaster ride.

Wishing all of you a happy and prosperous New Year!

5 comments:

kenpen said...

I've been thinking about you a lot. I really hope 2012 is a better year.

weezermonkey said...

Dickens is never cliche. <3

10yearstogether said...

I can't believe I thought that quote was from Abraham Lincoln. I pray WM never sees my comment. Anyway, I hope time will ease your painful memories and strengthen your good memories of your dad. And that it will also heal your relationship with your brother. I'm hopeful for you guys. Love you lots AMP and hoping 2012 is good to you and your family all around. xoxo

dapotato said...

<3. another cliche: time heals all. i promise there will be a time when the days not permeated by that sadness will number greater than those that are. 22 years later, those pangs of sadness still come from losing my dad, but they're more bittersweet now and far between. mostly what is left are the happy memories. lots of love going your and your family's way.

Tameka said...

Happy New Year friend. I really REALLY hope this year is full of nothing but fun and happy things for you! Lord knows you're most certainly due! Xo